bleeding love..
u have never make me feel loved..
u always make me feel miserable..
unworthy and worthless..
u have never given me a pinch of happiness
nor a happy memory
only gave me sadness, fear, a broken heart and unhappy childhood memory..
u even took away my self-esteem..
sometimes i wonder why am i always considering about ur feelings
when u don't even care abt mine..
all u cared about was money and control
why am i letting u control me and the way i live..
even the things i do..
i m nt a robot, but a human..with feelings...
i could never able to do what i wanted to do..
u never gave me an support nor encouragement..
worse, u even give me discouragement..
u never even cared about my basic needs..
u never treated me well..never the best u can give nor do..
it is even worse when i can't hate u..
i know u don't love me..
because u hate even the sight of me..
yes..maybe i owe u my whole life..
if it was not for u, i wouldn't be here..
but if i had the choice as a baby
i wld prefer to rather starved to death then..
don't make me feel guilty..
i hate to say this...
i never felt like i had a family...
i rather be an orphan..
i am tired of convincing myself
u actually cared, only in the wrong way..
i don't wanna lie to myself it didn't mattered..
everyday..the hurt is growing bigger n deeper..
and i don't know what to do..
I wanna leave here!
i wanna be free~
what is it tht is holding me back?
since no one cared..
God, can i be selfish for once? It's so hard to love _ _ _.
