Thursday, January 31, 2008 9:14 PM
i am feeling restless these days
hyper at night,tired in the day
lecturer caught sleepin n day-dreamin in class a few times
apparently i m also always late for the morning classes=X
m i gettin old or what?
or m i becomin a slacker>.<
or is projects n assignments draining me
or it's jus an excuse??
actually most of the time i m stoning-.-
tmr UTM test 2
BUT i really dun hv to feeling to study!!!=(
bOoks opened bUt i m apparently jus staring at it
.......
can i nt study???
of course i can!!bUt will fail lor
but den i can't fail
gotta force myself to study!!
STUDY
i repeat..
STUDY!!
gosh i goin nutz..
=X
Tuesday, January 29, 2008 11:09 PM
sdd presentation on comin thurs!!
damn nervous...
i gotta do my best,present my best..
wish me best of luck>.<
because i always get tense up during presentation
tis project will back me up if i fail my test 2..
so i gotta do well!i need to...
at mac damn funny,
veri long story but i shall jus say the main one here
haha
because ling,lingling n me needed to charge our laptops
n lingling wanted to charge her phone also because goin no batt..
plus the kap mac oni has one damn pathetic power point..
so ling n lingling actually went to cold storage to buy a multi purpose cable
those big big type
Lol
power la..haha
the manager was laughin at us-.-
so finally done with our fyp report
only now waitin for my supervisor to get back to us
but problem is he is on leave till 30th
n the final date for submission of the report is 1st of feb>.<
oh~i am missing dear already...
he is nt online nw
he went over nat hse to stay till thurs
think he nw shd be studyin hard real for his examz..
got three continous paper>.<
pray tht he will do well..
erm..fri i hv one test paper
i hvn't started studyin
n i dunnO a thing bacause i wasn't payin attention in class
and nx mon is sdd test 2
arrrh....
i hv a great feelin..
i may flang..bUt i CAN'T
can't afford to..
JIA YOU JIA YOU!
one more week of sch left..
two more tutorial left to do>.<
then exam wk..
two papers
hOpe it faster pass..
CNY is coming!!
Monday, January 28, 2008 12:10 AM
n sOmetimes i wish they don't ask=X
test at canteen!!!
Saturday, January 26, 2008 10:47 PM
fri UTM lecture
lecturer:"class,this is the details for ur test 2."
flashes the projection...
everyone
-.-
-.0
o.o
o.O
O.O
venue:canteen 3!!!
one person:cher, u got typin error ar?
another:cher,u serious ar?
lecturer(loOks serious):do i loOk like i m jokin?
"let u all try something new ma,hv test in the canteen.."
anOther student:"wow..serious ar?"
lecturer:"u all better go ealry reserve table ar..one person one table"
LOL
Friday, January 25, 2008 10:12 PM
right nw i urge to any of the below..
-play archade!!!
-ice-skating!!!
-cycling!!
-running!!
-kick or punch any punching bags..
or maybe jus do any sport ba..
anything that can relieve my sorrows n sian-ness..
becomin brOke sOon..
hvn't been workin due to lotz of projectz n assignmentz
n been spendin lotz of money on food
becUz lately mama nv coOk
somehw i hv become sick of eating..
siAnz ba..
i missed n crave veri much for home-coOk foOd
because nOthing taste better than tht..
mayann mayann..
time to eat less n maybe save some spare money..
today..
meet dear for lunch..
but end up..
i cried like a baby in dear's arms..
dunno why the tears came rolling dwn
couldn't control it..
i wanted to hide the sorrow tht was in my eyes..
but somehw i couldn't..
i wanted to tell him what's on my mind..
bUt somehw even opening my mouth become so hard..
den while eatin
there was an long awkward of silence
but in end..
bursting in tears
n managed to tell him..
n in his arms..
is where i can find comfort..
=)
and after my sch
i had a sudden urge to cut my hair
so i went clementi cut hair>.<
den after which
dear meet me go je play archade...
after throwing some basketballs,shooting,racing..
was feeling better=)
sch has been taxing..
projects,endless assignmentz..
soOn will be examz
addin to it..
conflictz between friends..
the big one happy clique that use to hv class outings,chalets
since yr 1 to yr 2..
is like split or shattered..
somehw i even seE ugliness in people tht i nv see before..
though i am nt the ones involved but i feel sad such things are happenin..
i feel there is veri nO point to hurt feelings
because of unhappiness while doin projects
its nt so nt worth it...
maybe is goOd ba, prepare myself for the real working world..
i wouldn't be like them..
but at least i will try to shiam n shiam as much as i can...
so nt so be too shock or caught unprepared for such situations..
n get hurt>.<
-
Sunday, January 20, 2008 6:48 PM
today went career fair at suntec
dear accompany me=)
still nt sure what my ideal job is..
a teacher?work at bank?..hmm
will wait till after examz
den maybe play first,enjoy,work part-time
den write resume
enter the real working world!!!
probably will grab hold of all the opportunities that i can get>.<
oh...i bought a dress online..
it will arrive on my doorstep by tues!
yAY=D
nO time go shoppin
den fren gave me some websites..
$26 for tis dress..think quite worth it>.<
ok..gotta do projects ler>.<
2 more to go!!!jiA you>.<
Friday, January 18, 2008 9:15 PM
siAn..siAn..siAn..siAn.
SIANZ!!!!
feel like screamin 100xsIanz
Hiaz..
hv u ever felt like u are sick n tired of everything??
feel like abandon everything or dun do anything at all..
this is what i m thinkin of..
everything that i do is also sian..
thinkin of my life also sian
project project project
den finish ler jiu examz
examz den worry abt findin job
find job ler den will be workin the rest of my life
miserable!meaningless!
dunnO if i m thinkin toO much or wat..
somehw feel like dear n me...
hmm..
i dunnO..maybe i m thinkin too much..
my promises
Monday, January 14, 2008 1:26 AM
.: jero :. ™ says:
hmmm darling..im with you no matter wad circumstances u r facing..
mEi En says:
=)
mEi En says:
sOmetimes i wish time will stop when u hold me
mEi En says:
den everything will disappear..
.: jero :. ™ says:
and tt time remember we promised each other to not keep anything from one another..
even though we might find tt there is no point sharing..tt it wont help or wadever, but we can face it together..dun forget our promise yeah..and promise me another thing..promise to express our true expressions..like jus now..you were fustrated n u needed to vent ur anger..i will be your punching bag..
.: jero :. ™ says:
when u fear, let me know..i will hug u tight n nv let u go..
mEi En says:
i cryin ler..
mEi En says:
smiling at the same time
.: jero :. ™ says:
when u r weak n down..just remain weak n down as u r..let me be there to hold u n assure everythings gonna be alright.
nOthing more would i ask for..because u are all i need..with u by side,i m able to face all the problemz=)
Sunday, January 13, 2008 9:09 PM
sometimes eventhough u r right beside me..i feel yr heart is miles away..feel like i m standing alone.sometimes i wish i could hold u tight till this fear n insecurity goes away.sometimes i wish i could get angry at u when i m mad...but yet it is impossible to do so..because i m afraid to hurt u n i love u so..sometimes i hate myself for bein so "strong".even when i m already really tired n drained..i choose to be "strong" for u and make u happy..i choose to bright up yr day even when i can't bright up my own..because i am afraid to make u worry..n u hv enough problems of yr own
maybe is this character in me since young..i am dependant on myself n will hide all my pains n hurts to myself....so that no one sees the 'weak" me..to me..it's pointless shownin my emotions because it benefits no one if it's bad, it's nothing ppl can do to ease the pain or solve the problem..=(
8:23 PM
mOrning lead the church worship
thank God was quite successful,
and there was confirmation through his word on the sOngs chosen.
bUt still i wan to improve n dO better
=)
bUt afternoOn, my mood wasn't good..
had a foul moOd n was really pissed
a hungry n tired girl is a angry girl>.<
2 plus den ate my breakfast n lunch..Lolz
nearly exploded my frustration..
then this malay girl at mac had very bad service
somemore give attitude even to her working mates..wtf..
i turn to my bf gave a comment..
"their service really suxz"
hmm..i think she heard that..oops..
gosh..lately i beEn becOmin bad>.<
complains,negativity, picking on people's bad points..
in the past..i wasn't like that
nw i m begining to see the bad points in others..
which in the past i don't
i oni saw the good in others..
like beginin to see the evil of the world??
hmm..maybe it's goOd ba..
prepare myself for the wOrking wOrld..
projects prOjectz..
two majOr projectz deadline by tis week..
gosh..fyp fyp..it's far frm finished>.<
drained by tis wk i think..
dear having examz>.<
pray that he do well..
hmm..thinking abt finding job ler..
before sch ends..
scared graduate nO job veri siAnz..
No work,no money..rot at home also..
I DUN WAN!!!
sOmemore dear will be havin his attachment>.<
thinkin of applyin to MOE..
hmm..do u guys think i make a goOd teacher???
Tuesday, January 8, 2008 8:32 PM
today i nearly fainted!
went sch do project..
den in the afternoOn tummy was veri veri pain..
i thOught was the usual stomach pain or was due to my period
so i ignored the pain..
den on the way home..
the pain become unbearable..
while waitin for bus 173 at beauty world..
i was already in cold sweat n body become veri weak..
den suddenly..
i vomitted!!!at the bus-stop..
all the food frm my lunch came spilling out!!
alot of people loOked..wtf.
den my head become dizzy,
and the pain in my tummy was already till the max unbearable stage
that moment i really wished i could telliport home..
i felt like i could collapse anytime..
and i was prayin hard that the bus could quickly come,
and i could get home..
thank God he sustained me till i got home..
reached home..i imediately collapse on my bed...
forced myself to sleep so i can't feel the unbearable pain!
7/1/08
its dear n me one month anniversary!
hAppy one month together>.<
after sch ard 6 plus..
i went cck meet him den we watch "national treasure"
den ate supper=)
dear surprised me with this with this:
he baked it..
it taste really really nice..
taste like almond coOkies..
hmm..it's really rare for a guy to bake something for a girl..
it's nOt an easy thing also..
for me i think it's very thOughtful
it's really sweet n touching for me..
n he actually baked it for the first time following a recipe!!
wow..amazing..
*lOve u sO milliOnz*
7/12- the date where we two became one!
Sunday, January 6, 2008 10:02 PM
lately i hv been thinkin alot..
As my graduation n 20 th b'day draws nearer
i can't help bUt to think of the new challenges that is in front of me..
nO longer m i a child nor a teenager..i m nOw an adult..
my thinking really have changed
no longer do i think of frenz,having fun or goin out,spending money..
suddenly i have serious thoughts abt my future..
my future working life,my future spouse,even marriage....
thoughts about saving my money for the future instead of spending them..
thoughts on my future working life..anxiety to get a jOb right after sch ends..
thought abt my bf...will he be with me till the end..will he stand by me nO matter what happens?
thinkin abt moving out to stay bUt i have to start learning to be independant and know alot of living skills..
thinking about God and how i can serve more n do more for church..
n many more...
i have never thought so much abt my future before..in the past,always a happy-go-lucky person..what comes along goes along..i would embrace it..nv planned anything for my life before
bUt nOw..thOughts of planning for future creepz in..
bUt one thing i knOw is...
MY FUTURE IS IN GOD"S HANDS so i m not afraid..God will direct me in the way that i shd go..
Wednesday, January 2, 2008 10:26 PM
OUr Love stOry...
my dear..
He completes my world...
=)
n sOmetimes i wish they don't ask=X
everyone
7/12- the date where we two became one!
my dear..